Strenth
by mushimio92
Summary: Our two heroes in the hospital after the events of FMAB, Riza is feeling very very guilty. Roy attempts to persuade her out of it.


"I want you to promise me, that you would revise the policy in Ishval and let the Ishalvlans living in slums to return to their holy land and I also want you to let me live there as a doctor!"

"I promise."

A nod and a smile that has the power to change, a revived dream and stronger heart for a change; for the colonel this was not only a deal. It was his courage in order to carry on, keeping his promise to those who were under his protective wing as well as to those that he had met on his journeys; more importantly those who had sacrificed their lives for the country in order to push him to the top.

It was 4.30 in the afternoon; and in the hospital; it was the time of the day where noises was at its minimal. The clerk at her table stapled the last of patient particulars and threw them unwillingly into the slot next to her. She yawned sleepily and switched off her computer, sitting back in her chair, she began to remember an interesting sight in her hospital that particular day. She was sure that those strange looking visitors had left an hour ago, but their conversation still lingered in her brain. "Do you think Mustang will _take your offer_?", Dr knox smiled at her but dropped into a whisper as he turned to the person next to him; it was then she noticed him. The first thought she had, was pity, to have suffered such intensive injury on his face. She does wonder what happened to him, "He is hope for a better future in Ishaval, and probably for this country as well" she heard him speak firmly and the two men both turned a corner down the corridor where the 'A' class wards were.

Nurse sipped some tea, and closed her eyes. She knows who they were talking about; it was that patient who was admitted in yesterday with a rather sleek looking and handsome physical appearance. He walked down that same corridor with the company of a tall and blonde, kind of proud looking woman. She gave nurse a piercing stare down before heading into the ward down the corridor, the feeling that she was been asked to back down was strong.

And their faces were full of strain and tiredness, they all were yesterday. A huge uproar in central city right where central head quarters was, it seemed to be a coup, and there was gun fire that lasted the whole day but that was not the high light, she was here too last night; when the eclipse started; she fell to the ground and then it was darkness.

"Excuse me; I need to borrow a phone." The nurse snapped back from her memories, and peered up at the source of the voice. It was that woman from last evening, her arm was now in a sling and visible bandages can be seen around her neck. She was a lieutenant; that was what the nurse knows, really; a hospital gown does not suit her compared to a soldier's uniform. The nurse could not help but shift nervously in her chair, (Where are her weapons?).

"Excuse me? Hello? I do really need a phone." Nurse blinked and the rest of her senses followed closely behind, "oh, I am very sorry, here." She passed her the phone quickly but looked away as soon as she did. The lieutenant gave her a dry smile and turned her back on her. "Thank you" The Nurse stared bleakly at the figure, Roy mustang is the hope for this country huh? How funny, that person can't even see with those eyes any longer. If he had envisioned a future for this country, he had lost that too. The woman turned a corner and the nurse breathed a sigh of relief, she sat back in her chair again and closed her eyes for a short moment, all of a sudden; scenes with the two men from yesterday yet again appeared in her mind…_Take what offer_?

The door swung open and went back to its place, he was resting in bed; head propped up with a pillow, instinctively he turned to the area where the sound of creaking doors were, there was a scent that he could tell who it was at the door, he had once breathed such a scent deeply years and years ago. If he needed to describe it, it was a soft smell of almonds. The footsteps from the door approached him softly; he remembered those bright brown eyes filled with tears. His lieutenant or what used to be her, she had lay down with her back faced up, they were in her room and he did what she pleaded with him to do. "Than..thank..you, Mr…Mustang…" she had the most gentleness smile even though it was filled with raw pain with the burning of thin flesh.

Roy heard the footsteps stop near his bed, deciding that he needed to give the lady some respect; he shifted himself a little higher and grinned. "Almond has such a nice smell, don't you think so lieutenant?" She loved Almond, or that was over ten years ago. A cup of warm almond milk tea made her smile deeply then, even though it was purchased from his first salary, she seemed to be very grateful.

He heard the chair pulled to his bed side, he felt her smoothing down the sheets. "Why aren't you speaking?" he asked cautiously. It was rare for her to be this silent…"Lieutenant?"

"I am so sorry…" he thought he felt the grip on the blankets tighten considerably when she said those words, he turned slightly to his left where she was sitting; his jaw fell open just a bit before closing them back; he knew what she was apologizing for but it was not necessary after all he would get his sight back soon. But there was no chance that she would accept it if he said 'It is okay."

"Lieutenant, give me your hand" he said softly, he was sure that she would obey and true enough even though it took a while, she placed her hands gently on his. They were cold and stiff hands, based on his touch he traced his hands up her arms and to her shoulders. The lieutenant did not move nor say a word, though he felt her recoil slightly when he placed a finger on the bandage around her neck. _I wonder what she is thinking right now. But what can he do, he was blind. _He inched a little further upwards and found what he was aiming for. 

Her face; that was so warm; the colonel placed a palm on her cheeks gently. And true enough, he felt a drop of water sliding down the sides of her face; you are crying again… _I know your little stubborn anger, and those tears of sadness. But they are not needed; there is nothing you need to blame yourself with, my dear lieutenant… _

He took her by surprise when pulled her forward towards him with his other arm and rubbed away the droplets of tears from her eyes. She was in between his arms and her face at his chest, feeling rather embarrassed she tried to pull herself from his body, "Colonel, let me go!" she struggled a little, but the colonel held on tightly, "No, I don't want to" She stared at the colonel who was grinning at her, embarrassed she looked away "What if someone else saw…" She whispered indignantly; though her voice trailed away when she felt weight on her head. The colonel had placed his head on top of hers and snuggled, "Thank you." He said; into her hair.

"What for…?" she replied into the darkness of his mid drift, "…for not shooting me in the head yet." His answer made her jump back in surprise, "What…!" she had expected an answer but surely not such a comedic one, the colonel laughed deeply at the surprised and 'ready to kill' tone but did not let go his hold on her. The expression on his face slides away quickly and was replaced by dead seriousness, "Thank you…for not dying." His lieutenant stared; "Let me finish what I want to say first." He added in before she could have a chance to cut into his words. "I was always wondering, what would happen if I had lost you. Yesterday, you were almost taken away from me, I was more than horrified. There was this searing pain right here as though it was about to stop at that moment where I believed you were not breathing." He said while gesturing above the area where his heart was located. "Then I remembered something that you told me; or rather shouted at me with a gun at my head; that you would not be able to live freely if I died." Riza blinked rapidly; _yes, she was the one who said that and it was very true, she would not be able to carry on living without him. Geez, it sounds cheesy even in her head. _"That was when I realized; that if you died there and then, I would not be able to carry on either…"

She paused for a moment as the words formed in her mind, but when it was straight and proper; unknown anger came to her. She pulled away from him and succeeded in doing so, "What do you mean you can't carry on, you have a goal don't you? You have to live on even if I am not by your side, nothing should stop you and that means me too!" The colonel folded his arms and looked in her direction, "I want you by my side, and nothing will stop me from having you by my side." He was not smiling, nor grinning, did the colonel mean it with all his heart? "If you went to somewhere far away from me, I will practically drop dead right here and now or hell; wherever I am at that moment." Riza froze, and her anger simmered away at his words "That is not funny; sir…" she ejected firmly.

"I did not mean it as a joke; it is very serious; just as you are if you are carrying a gun." He added quickly and swiftly. Riza sat back in her chair; she glanced at the man who was still looking in her direction even though he could not see her. _You are joking, I am not that important to you… _

"This is why, you should not apologize…" The colonel found her hands which were lying by his side; they were still cold and stiff. "Don't apologize for not being useful, or being injured when I was in danger or watching helplessly from the sidelines when I got dragged off to Father's lair, don't blame yourself for this" he said, as he guided her hands to where his eyes were. He pressed his fingers over those cold ones, "I will be getting my sight back very soon, so don't blame yourself for this, it is not your fault. Don't cry…"

Riza could feel his warm face, and his coarse hands which was over hers, _How could she not blame herself, she was his protector and yet she was not able to watch his back then; he would have been killed, she would have never seen him again. All because of her, the enemy took advantage of his kindness for his subordinates and made her a hostage, because of her injury she could only watch helplessly…that feeling of being useless, it was horrible; the feeling of not being able to protect the person she care about so much… _

"However" The colonel drops his pressure on her hands, and lay back in bed yawning rapidly. "If you want to, I can give you a long break from being my aide. You seem to need a break…"

"Huh?" She looked at the colonel, who leaned back and stretched. He ruffled his hair slightly and looked away. He seemed serious, Riza paused and so did nearly all the nerves of her body, _A break? _That was when she realized what he meant, "I am your aide, i cannot just leave." She said nervously, the colonel did not speak; he had his back turned away from her.

"I am sorry, but excuse me; I need to change the bandages of the patient now." It was a young nurse who walked into their conversation; the door she came through closed with a sharp loud bang. The lieutenant glanced over at the colonel quickly but returned her gaze to the nurse, "I am sorry" With that, she excused herself from the chair and went back to her bed. The curtains were drawn, and she sat there as though a stone had dropped into her guts, _what were you thinking, Riza… since when were you a person who would give yourself up to self pity and whining. _She had her hands over her face, her eyes burnt quickly, salty tears fell rapidly down her face and they stained her shirt.

"Lieutenant? Are you feeling alright now?" Riza looked up in shock when she heard her name, and was even more so when she saw that it was him. "Colonel, how did you…?" She looked at him and then at the distance from his bed to hers, it was a short path, the colonel seemed to be alright at navigating around the room. "You are just nearby, I can walk here blindfolded. Ah, I already am." Riza mused at his words but took a second look at her surroundings, the nurse had already left and they were alone again. The colonel found the edge of the bed and sat down, Riza shifted slightly to allow more space; she stared at his back. How long had she been crying?

A few minutes passed and she decided to break the silence, "Colonel…?" she whispered, though her breath was thin. Was she afraid of something…?

"So about my offer, have you thought about it? You know, stop being my aide." He cut into her words and waited for her reply. But when she did not say much, he continued, "you seemed to be stressed out especially after yesterday, I don't want you to be affected by your emotions that much." Seeing, that she was not answering, the colonel followed up on his sentences, "I don't want you to be having self pained thoughts anymore."

Riza blinked slowly as she absorbed the sentence. "Pained thoughts?"

"Correct."

Riza breathed deeply, she cannot be afraid, the colonel had not blamed her for anything and she too can't be just burying herself in agony. He chose to stand up on his own even with sight and he still have that goal, she cannot just leave when he is still heading towards that direction. "Colonel, I am not taking your offer, but I am really sorry…about what I could not do… however, I cannot just leave. I won't brood any longer so please let me continue being your aide!"

The colonel turned around and gazed into her general direction, he smiled at her gently and kindly, "You are back. The tough cookie lieutenant has returned to me…"

_Sometimes to carry on also means that you have to let go _


End file.
